


A secret

by Morethancupcake



Series: Simple and kind [11]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Confrontations, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Infidelity, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Past Infidelity, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 20:41:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15469632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: " “Can you keep a secret ?”“You know I can.”  Bruce doesn't want to drag more people into the drama, but he trusts Phil, and he needs to talk to someone, someone who'll be brutally honest.“Natasha called Tony. She wants to meet with him.” "





	A secret

**Author's Note:**

> Science Bros Week Day 6 : Friday
> 
> Another installment in this series ! People have been asking for Natasha since I first published Small Crimes. I heard you, guys. Sorry it took so long.
> 
> As usual : English is far from my first language, please be kind if you feel the need to point out mistakes and typos.
> 
> Cross posted on Tumblr. http://iwanttopizzamanyou.tumblr.com/post/176385124074/a-secret

Tony is already home, and that's the first warning. 

The house smells like peppermint and eucalyptus, and the perfect smell of Tony's famous almond cookies. 

It's bad.

 

Bruce goes to the bathroom first, takes a shower to leave the day at the hospital behind, and goes back to the kitchen wearing the softest things he could steal from Tony's closet.

 

They're an old couple. He knows whatever Tony has to tell him can cause a fight. And Tony doesn't want to fight. 

Tony smiles but doesn't come to collect a kiss or a hug. He offers tea, and the cookies still cooling on the porcelain plate next to the window, waiting for Tony's amazing rum frosting.

 

It's Friday afternoon, and Bruce can think of a million things he would want to do with his husband, none of them involving a fight.

 

He bites into a cookie and wait.

 

“Natasha called me today.” Bruce closes his eyes for a second, and collects himself. He almost regrets passing on Phil's offer to join him for an hour of bikram yoga, the serenity something he'll probably going to need after this.

“And you answered ?”

“Well, she was intelligent enough to call during Pep's lunch, and I guess the intern on phone duty wasn't that hard to crack. Anyway.”

Tony sighs. There's still a lingering of pain here, probably always will be. But there's no anger, anymore, no need to lash out or turn things bitter. At least not where their relationship is concerned.

“How did it go ?” Bruce almost asks him to come and sit with him, just so he can offer more than his presence, just so they can hold each other. But Tony stays at the sink, carefully measuring ingredients into his bowl.

“She wants us to meet somewhere. To talk.” Tony is not completely upset, but it's getting there. Bruce tries to stay still, tries not to... “She asked me not to tell you, actually.”

And that's what breaks his resolution. Bruce hugs him, attaches himself to his husband's back and breathes slowly.

“Why don't we relocate that discussion to the couch. Please ?”

Tony kisses his forehead, and grabs his own mug of tea.

 

“She wants us to meet. To talk.” Tony's toes are safe under his hands, and Bruce traces them slowly, traces the sole of his feet, his ankles. Tony smiles and silently thanks him, and it keeps him grounded. “She said she'd rather do it somewhere neutral, but I almost want her to come here and sit in our kitchen, in our home. I want her to realize there was a whole life she decided to ignore.”

“I don't want her here.” Bruce blurts it, and feels himself blushing. “I know it's hypocritical. I know I should be able to...”

“Hey. Hey, stop.” Tony puts his mug away, and runs the side of his thumb on Bruce's fingers, soothing. “We're not here to play this trial again, okay ? I felt petty, and wanted to hurt her, but it would hurt you so no. Not here. Let's move on.”

“You really want to talk to her ? Why ? Why her and not Barnes ?” 

It's a low blow, and Tony takes his fingers away. Bruce wants to apologize, but he wants his answer more.

“Because Barnes wasn't my friend. Sure Tasha and I were never close. She was Steve's friend first. But she called herself my friend, once upon a time. She told me the divorce wouldn't change that. And I guess... I guess I want closure. I want to know what's so important to be said now.”

“I don't want you to be hurt.”

“I've already been hurt, Dr Banner.”

 

Tony corners him into the shower and their kisses turn hot, heavy. Bruce tries to hold on, but Tony's hair his to short for him to keep him in place without hurting him, his skin too smooth.

 

Tony seems to get how unsettled he is, because he doesn't push, he doesn't try to pick up the discussion. They have a late dinner of leftovers and more cookies, and Bruce rests his forehead on his husband's shoulder, bracing for impact.

 

“Don't be stupid, okay ?” Tony brushes his curls away from his face, and kisses him softly. “Don't antagonize her. Don't yell. We'll do this together.”

Their weekend is tainted, but Bruce pushes himself into Tony's space, into his clothes. 

 

“How can you be so calm ?” Tony takes them for a Monday night ice cream date, and seems pretty happy to be fed while driving to their usual spot to the beach. 

“Well... I don't know if you want me to be honest here ?” He gets a spoonful of banana and chocolate melted together as his answer. “I already went through the worst possible scenario. I already did the whole silent brooding, and screaming matches. It doesn't work. It's not worth it.” They park where they usually do, close enough to see the sea. “This is where my huge knowledge in term of dealing with shitty times is finally useful, my darling.”

“It's annoying.” Bruce spoons a huge lump of chocolate into his mouth. “I spent my day being on edge, I kept thinking she would come to talk to me, or to warn me at least but...”

“Do you think she wants to hurt you ?” Tony turns a little so he can claim his own spoon and dig into his flavors. “A kind of revenge after all these months ?”

“I don't know ? No ? I'm not sure.” Bruce shrugs and makes a face when he gets a tiny drop of ice cream on his glasses. “I don't know what she wants. I don't like the idea of her seeing you. That's all.”

“If it's easier for you, I won't. You know that, right ?” 

“Right.” Tony steals a peanut from his spoon.

“Are we ready to stop being grumpy, now ?”

“I love you.”

 

Phil orders his usual bowl of phò and serving of egg rolls, and they both smile at each other. Bruce isn't sure when these became part of his routine, but now dinner with Phil is just a comfortable time away from everything.

“We need to invite Clint and Tony.” Bruce misses Clint. They are friends, they see each other everyday at work, and sometimes during the weekend, but it's not the same. He remembers a time Phil and Tony would be attached to the hip, and Clint would drag him into new adventures. It was fun, it was the closest he ever felt to college and being careless.

“You say that every time.” Phil winks and stops their waitress to ask for even more food. “But you're right. Clint is moaning about me smelling like delicious food, I'm not sure the usual box of egg rolls is going to be enough. We can make a day of it, beach during the day, then dinner here ?”

“Well... I need to check with Tony.” Phil doesn't comment, but it takes him a second to hide his surprise. “Can you keep a secret ?”

“You know I can.” Bruce doesn't want to drag more people into the drama, but he trusts Phil, and he needs to talk to someone, someone who'll be brutally honest.

“Natasha called Tony. She wants to meet with him.”

Their order arrive, and the waitress chat a little, happy to see them again. 

When she leaves, Bruce deeply regrets opening his mouth. Phil takes the time to prepare the raw meet he puts into his bowl, then focuses back on him.

“You need to tell me more. Are you fighting about it ?”

“No. No, not really. If anything, I'm the one making a big deal out of it, and Tony is taking care of me.”

“I bet it feels great.”

“You have no idea.”

Phil orders a bubble tea, while waiting for the meal he ordered for Clint. Bruce chuckles at him, and then caves in and orders one for himself too.

“If it can make you feel better, I don't think she's trying to hurt any of you.” Phil looks hilarious, his tie forgotten, both of his hands holding his pink cup. “I don't want to betray anyone's confidence, but she asked me if calling Tony to apologize would help.”

“Help what ?” Bruce doesn't want to analyze the sudden jealousy he feels. He's feeling awful for it, but he likes the fact Clint decided to write Natasha off of his life, he likes the fact they both are in two different worlds, Tony now working somewhere else. 

And Phil must see it, because he looks a little apologetic, and avoids his eyes. 

“It's not easy for me. Clint got really upset over what happened. He's loyal to heart, and he doesn't get how people can make mistakes. Natasha lost her best friend during your break up.”

“It was not a break up.”

“Call it whatever you want, but I can't just close my door to her when she asks for an advice.”

“I know.” Bruce chews on his tapioca and feels so tired suddenly. “I just... I almost lost my husband once, and I know it was my fault. I don't want to hurt him again. I don't want this whole mess to...”

“Then don't let it be.” Phil accepts the bag of food and finishes his drink. “I'm telling you. She asked about Tony, and if she could talk to him. Maybe it's not about you at all, and just about her. Have you thought about that ?”

 

“Bruce.” Phil grabs his arm, when they're making their way through the parking lot. He looks tired. “I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault, not really. It's no one's fault.”

“I never wanted to hurt anyone. I was stupid, and so what Natasha. If I take my part of the blame, she has to take hers.”

“I know. It's just... I hate thinking we all picked sides, but we did it. From the moment Stark and Rogers announced their divorce, we all did. And I kept telling myself I would not.”

“But it's not that easy, in the end.”

 

Tony sits close to the bathtub while Bruce tells him everything. He looks sad, and exhausted. Not as much as he used to, back then, but his smile isn't the same when he finally answers.

“Clint is still very hurt.” Tony brushes a hand through his hair, ruining it even more. “I tried to tell him I wouldn't mind him being friend with her. But I think...” He sighs. “It might be me playing the therapist here, but being in the middle of it all, I think it reminded him of being a kid, and it brought back bad memories.”

“Did he say something to you ?” Bruce feels better, here in their bathroom, playing with the bubbles and washing the tension away.

“Not as clearly, but I think it was easy for him to be mad, because you two betrayed his trust and the peace, in a way.”

“I know. It actually makes sense.” 

 

“I want to be here.” Bruce grabs his husband's hand, and guides him to his arms. It's way too late for them to lounge like this, they'll both be exhausted in the morning, but Tony's skin is soft, and the night is peaceful. “If it's easier, tell her to come here. I just...”

“Hey, Bruce, look at me.” Bruce doesn't hide anything. All his insecurities, his fears, he let them all out, and Tony drinks them in. “I love you. No matter what... I love you.”

 

Tony calls her in the morning.

 

Natasha looks different, here in the kitchen. Bruce nods at her hello, and can't help but feel like a coward when he excuses himself and goes to his office, where he'll be able to hear and not be seen.

Tony knows, of course, he's the one who offered him the alternative, and he just presses a kiss to his jawline before letting him go.

 

“I guess asking you to keep it between us was a little too much ?” she sounds the same. Breathless, with a hint of humor. It used to make him smile, to know she was playing them all.

“I don't believe in secrets. You should know.” Tony sits too, and Bruce almost wants to go back and tell them it's a bad idea.

 

“I wanted to explain. We never got the chance to talk, you and I.”

“I didn't want to talk to you.” The Tony answering isn't the man Bruce kisses in that same kitchen. He's hard, and his voice is made of iron.

“I can understand.” Natasha pauses, to drink probably, to gather her thoughts maybe. He wonders if she watches the garden, if she sees the work they both put into it. “I wasn't sure if this was a good idea. Steve is actually the one who told me I should find the courage to talk to you.”

“Steve.”

“He still cares about you. A lot.”

“You have to be fucking kidding me !”

 

Tony rarely yells. That's not his style. And when he does, it's like watching his father yell all over again, Bruce finds himself back to being six and terrified.

 

He flies to the garden, because nothing, nothing can taint the roses, the lavender, the soft grass under his bare feet. He starts to get busy, cleaning the ceramic pots they want to use for the living room. Everything is better than listening.

He isn't strong enough to listen.

 

“Are we alright there ?” Tony puts a hand on his back, and Bruce notices suddenly, how sweaty and gross he feels, how tired. Tony kisses him once, twice, not minding the sweat or the mud on his hands.

“I just... I needed to get away.”

“I noticed.” Tony is searching for answers in his eyes, and Bruce isn't sure what to tell him. “She's into the bathroom. She wants a few words with you. Completely up to you.”

“I'm not sure.”

“I can be the one in your office. See how long I can stand it.”

“Tony...”

“No. I mean. Maybe I need it ?” Tony kisses his jaw and stays here, eyes closed. “Maybe I need to see you two interact, and see there's nothing left there.”

“There isn't, baby. I promise.” 

 

He doesn't bother with a shower, he just goes to the sink and tries to clean his hands, brushing the dirt away from his fingernails.

“I didn't think you would say yes.” Natasha looks older. Maybe it's the new haircut. Maybe it's the tension on her face. There's nothing left, there, Bruce realizes. Whatever it was, between them, has completely fizzled out.

“I didn't want to. But Tony asked.” He nods at her mug. “I was going to make myself some chai, do you want some ?”

“Yes. Please.” She takes back her seat, and pretends to look around. “You have a lovely home.”

“Yes, that's right. You only saw the old house.” The house Tony and Steve purchased together, he remembers. Full of bad memories and hurt.

“Bruce. Come sit with me.”

“I'm not sure I want to.” He puts the few ingredients he needs on the counter and stops. When he turns, Natasha is looking a little stricken, but not upset exactly. Puzzled, maybe. “I don't think you should be here. I don't now what you needed to tell Tony, but... unless there's something you need to tell me too...”

“You apologized.” She smiles, and it's nothing like her usual smiles. She's cold, hurt. “I know it was stupid of me. We never talked about anything personal. You kept talking about Tony, but... I really believed...”

“I'm sorry. I told you, it was a mistake.”

“So you said.” 

He believes she'll take her purse and leave. But she doesn't, and when the chai starts to bubble away, he has no choice but to pour her a cup.

“I lost a lot, you know ?” she sips carefully not to burn herself. Bruce keeps his eyes on the floor, knowing he has no right to be so mad at her for ruining the peace of his home, knowing he's not the one who should be trembling with anger right now. “I lost Clint, and Pepper. I lost Phil, in a way.”

“I almost lost my husband.” 

“I know. You've been stupid too.” She takes another cookie, and Bruce has to close his eyes because he wants to snap at her for taking Tony's favorite. “Steve was mad. Really mad at me. I didn't think it would upset him so much.”

“I don't want to talk about Rogers.”

“I never meant to hurt anyone, Bruce.” She shrugs and takes another sip. “At first it was just fun. I thought we were playing. But I kept pushing, and you never said anything.”

“I'm not sure what you're talking about.” Natasha huffs and shakes her head, so he asks. “We went for drinks, and then there was a kiss, but...?”

“It started long before that. You can't actually tell me you never noticed ?” 

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“See, your husband said the same thing.” She punctuates the word husband, making it into a joke almost. Bruce sees it, now. She's not calm, at least not now when he's the one sitting here. Whatever happened with Tony, she's not happy with what she heard. “He said you probably never meant anything by the little things, the food you would bring in my office, the coffee...”

“But I did the exact same things for Clint !” 

Natasha's tea spills everywhere, and Bruce manages to save the mug before it falls from the table.

“I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting that answer.” She uses her napkin to clean the tea on her legs, and skirt. 

“I'm sorry if you thought... if you believed...”

“I wouldn't have asked you for a drink if I didn't believe it was something.” She holds up her hand. “And I knew, I knew you were married, and happy, but I guess...” She sighs and leaves her drenched napkin in a ball in front of her. “I decided it wasn't my place to feel guilty. Guess I was wrong about that.”

“I never thought about leaving Tony. Ever.” Bruce takes the napkin away, because these are his favorites, with little bees and he doesn't want the tea to stained them forever. “But after that first drink it felt good to flirt, and I didn't think it would go that far.”

“And what would've happened ? If Tony hadn't found my text, where would we be, today ?”

“Probably the same place.” Bruce knows Tony is listening, he knows, because this question was talked about countless times during their therapy sessions. And still, to this day, Bruce knows his husband sometimes wonder. “I wasn't unhappy. I wasn't looking for someone. That kiss happened, but it was the end of it. For me.”

“That night I went to Steve and told him we were in a relationship.”

“Natasha. We were never in a relationship.” Bruce feels like a monster. Mostly because he can't find in himself to be sorry, to care enough for her feelings. “We had drinks, and after the second or third time, we kissed. That's not a relationship.”

“You're right.”

 

She's putting her coat on when she says, almost talking to herself.

“I never really cared, before. If the people I was dating already had someone or not. I always felt it was their problem and not mine.” She laughs a little. “I guess it's karma.”

“I'm sorry for Clint. I really am.”

“I'm not stupid enough to think you were putting ideas in his head. If anything, I'm amazed he's talking to you.”

“Natasha...”

“I'll see myself out. You can tell Tony I said goodbye.”

 

The finds Tony in the kitchen, carefully cleaning the table.

“Well that was pleasant. I've had budget meetings with her that went better.” Tony accepts the hug after rinsing his hands under the warm water. “She wasn't that aggressive with me, to be fair.”

“It took a lot for me not to yell.” Bruce closes his eyes and breathes. “It just... I'm so mad. At myself, yes, but at her too.”

“I got mad too. She kept telling me there was more between the two of you.” Tony kisses him and when he whispers the rest, Bruce can hear all the jealousy and resentment his husband feels. “It made me so mad.”

“I didn't know. Tony you have to believe me. I didn't know.”

“I know. That Clint answer was far too brutal to be anything else.”

 

Tony orders from one of their favorite restaurant, and they both decide to have a picnic of sort in front of the fireplace. 

“You know, I always loved how you hate television how much as I do.” Tony steals some noodles from the dish Bruce actually insisted on using. “I love how properly old and boring we are, together.”

“I know. I love how terribly boring we are, too.”

Bruce remembers a childhood with meals eaten from the box, in front of TV. He knows Tony had a lifetime of those too, eating in the kitchen with the staff, in a nicer plate probably, but still pretty alone.

Tony tastes like tomato and basil, like garlic bread and pasta. He's still giggling when Bruce finally let him go back to his food.

“Phil wants to know if we're up to a day at the beach tomorrow ?” 

“Tell him yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ! I hope you liked it ! Please take a minute to leave me kudos and a nice comment ? It makes me ridiculously happy.
> 
> While I still have your attention, remember to drink enough, take your meds if you need them and are a nap.


End file.
